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How would I do that? I was worried that if my secret came out it would cause a lot of embarrassment for the whole family; I was so confused knowing that what I really wanted was out of bounds.I was her big brother and for all intents and purposes she looked up to me, would she still feel the same if she knew my secret desires, I somehow doubted it and it was far too big a risk to take.I even got to the point that I would wear her panties out under my normal clothes, the feelings it gave me meant I had an erection the whole time I was wearing them and I couldn’t wait to get home to jerk off.It was getting to the stage that I was wearing her panties more than my own and I am sure my mother thought we had an underwear thief in the neighbourhood which worked out in my favour as they would buy her more.I had one best friend in those days, I was very sceptical to tell him but felt that I needed to share my feelings, I knew it would make me feel better if I did but there was risks attached.. I have already cleaned you all up once, you know. I bathed you from head to toe, you were so dirty, sooty, sandy soil caked into all your abrasions and dried blood.’ He laughed at my discomfort. I was mortified at the thought of him having washed me, touched me, who knows how and where I had been violated and maybe even raped by this man. I grimaced in revulsion. He, that’s how I thought of him simply as ‘He’. He faced me with the soapy cloth and washed my tear-streaked face. ‘You still are breathing out smoke, see.’ He showed me the dark stain on the cloth, ‘You will for a few more hours or maybe even days, I am not really sure. But I looked it up on the Net, and you should be ok in time.’ ‘Oh, that’s reassuring.’ He gently, very gently for such a massive man dried my face and took a comb, combing my hair, he pulled me into his belly as he did the back. I could no longer hold it, I peed and peed. It was hard to believe I could go pee with this strange man holding my head in this.
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