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And when buying presents…well that is a challenge too because usually what I want to get people are way beyond my budget. Not because I want to impress but because giving from my heart is breathing to me. I know we all complain that Christmas has gotten too commercial. In these times of greed gone wild, iPad, iPhone, Kindles and gadgets galore, it seems that the real meaning of Christmas is lost. Don’t get me wrong…not THAT meaning. I have long since outgrown my childhood indoctrination into Christianity. Jesus was a good man and likely a prophet of his times, but I too am a prophet in mine and shit I hardly celebrate my birthday why am I going to his? No, the true meaning of Christmas is giving of ourselves. Like that prophet showed us. The past week has been really bad for that very reason. Granted, I am easy. The kids asked what I wanted and got me the sewing machine I wanted. And I love it. But they are driving me crazy with one another. My older daughter bought her brother a. My heart racing, would someone catch me? I felt almost the same as when i was younger, trying to find a moment to masturbate without my parents finding my magazines and wadded up kleenex. Here i was, horny, alone and shooting cum to videos of women and men sucking of gigantic cocks. I wanted to see what it was like, i wanted to know what a big, throbbing dick in my mouth would feel like. Would i let the guy come in my mouth, what would it taste like, would i ultimately like it or be disgusted by it? Eventually i started to become obsessed by finding glory holes. Where were the good ones? How did you know what a good place was? I was also terrified of catching an STD and i think that's really what stopped me from doing more. Looking back now, i only wish i had investigated it earlier and hadn't been so ashamed of accepting my desires. Was i bisexual? What wouldn't i do? Would someone i know find out and expose me? All these things added to the arousal. I couldn't stop thinking about.
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