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I'm happy for you." Well, she wasn't happy. And she was even less happy that he wrote such nonsense. Mama must be right; he'd found a girl in Whitesboro, and he wasn't interested in Nellie's living close to him.She was despondent. Mama noticed. "Your life is just beginning, Nellie, don't act like it's over." Well, it might drag on for decades more, but what had made it meaningful was over.Papa noticed. "Want to talk to me about it?" At her head shake, "Well you have a heavenly Father who already knows all about it. Take your worries to him."Even Charlie noticed. "What are you dragging around like that for? You look so low you could fit under the rug."Then, one day, there was a knock at the door. She answered it, looking at the visitor's boots. They were dirty. "Nellie?" he said. It was Paul's voice. It was Paul!She must have shouted. Mama came running. "Get in here, immediately," she said."I'm not really dressed for a parlor," said Paul."That's all right. Come into the kitchen if you. I was particularly shy below the waist and covered up soon after lovemaking. I also had this perhaps unhappy trait that my desires were deep within me. It took a lot to make me want sex. The wedding night was different as the strong anticipation drove the libido. On subsequent occasions I needed the mood, the ambience and the stimulus to get me going. That was another thing I learnt. I was different. My loving sister, even though she was much more conservative than me in appearance and behavior, confided in me that she loved sex and had often coaxed Suren into it. That was certainly not me. Quite peculiarly, when I was turned on I was a healthy participant, but I needed that persuasive prod. I found that many of my friends were like Gowri in their views and attitudes, derived largely through oblique references to their individual sexuality. I wondered if I was some kind of freak! Given the above private profile it may be confusing to know that I had a very healthy marriage. Hubby.
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