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I have attached padded cuffs for my wrists but will not restrain my ankles.I’m nervous. Susan is not there yet. I need to pee, and I go, but I’m worried about whether I’ll need to pee again during the ritual. I’m worried about whether the wrist restraints are too high. It might seem silly to be worried about comfort when I’m about to get flogged. However, the point is to be open to the experience of the flogging, to experience that as fully as possible. Other discomforts can get in the way. Also, discomfort from restraints can be a sign of bad blood-flow or a pinched nerve, both of which are safety issues.The time of the ritual approaches and Susan is not there. My nervousness grows. I’m not looking forward to sitting there and being unable to participate because I don’t have a top.I realize that I’m not doing well. The people at the festival have been wonderful; connections have deepened within our cabin especially. However, the festival itself has been challenging. A lot of it is. My thoughts where running rapid and I knew if I was caught I would be punished. I still wonder how kids limit themselves from doing bad stuff or getting naked in public. I guess it’s the shame and shyness which keeps humans specially women exposing their private parts or even as simple as using toilets in an open area fearing any guy might see her vagina after a few minutes she turned flat and was in deep sleep. To confirm myself I hugged her from front, putting my hands over her chest with trembling hands.This time my heart beat was pounding like hell. Then I slowly crossed my legs over hers and stayed in that position for a while each and every posture I spent I learnt few things, I felt like kissing her neck and it was so warm hugging inside a bed spread. With much confidence I went closer to her and my left shoulder was over her right shoulder and I hugged her tigh and I touched my lips on her collar bone. I felt good ad the taste of the skin was plain and was like felt pleasant..
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