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"Thanks, looks great." She leaned forward and whispered,"My pleasure." Then she cleaned me up and took off the sheet. As she used the hair blower to clear away clippings I wondered if she could see the lump in my jeans. She walked me out to the reception desk where the girl glanced at us, then did a double take at Crystal, raising an eyebrow. I paid and gave Crytal a generous tip. She thanked me then before turning to go back said, "Ask for me next time." The receptionist asked if I wanted to make an appointment."Yeah sure, next month?" She looked at their book,"Maybe sooner? Crystal is free three weeks from today." I'd have to work some more odd jobs to afford this place so often. Coming in I wasn't even sure if I'd come back. But I liked my new look and,"OK sure."Three weeks later I was there, right on time. The same receptionist was there. She checked me in and pointed to the waiting area,"Crystal will be a few minutes. Running late with a walk in, sorry." I shrugged,"No problem.". I'd said the exact same thing to her on her porch, and gotten a punch in the arm. Billy had said it, and gotten the reaction I wanted. The smile, giggle and thank-you. And then it all became clear. What I had said didn't matter to Kris, wasn't important to her, because...because it had come from me. I guess she felt that since we were friends, it really didn't matter what I thought. She wanted me to think of her as a friend, not as a girl, so my feelings for her towards that end were...extra, unimportant. Make no mistake. I knew that Kris didn't mean to hurt me, wouldn't have said those things for the world had she known the effect they ended up having on me. But that didn't lessen the pain one iota. That's when I began to understand what role I was going to play in the lives of all my female friends. I was always going to be the best friend, the surrogate big brother. They would take the flattery I offered in the spirit in which they thought it was intended, that of a friend who was.
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