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I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and hard work will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.This one is compliments of IgorSix Affairs:The First Affair:A married man was. I also noticed that the front of her pants were quite wet. If she had not climaxed, she surely had been close. I decided a small respite was in order. "Anna, now you will do the dishes and finish up the rest of the work around the house. Later this afternoon we will continue. I believe you still need one more beginning session so that you understand that you are now working for new employers. You will come to the library at 5:00 o'clock, and bring the paddle, and large wooden kitchen spatula with you. Do you understand?" "Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir," Anna replied. I retired to the library to read. I could here Anna working around the house during the afternoon as I sat in my easy chair reading. I thought to myself that she sure had changed her attitude from these two sessions. The final one today would insure that Anna knew how we expected her to perform her duties for us. I also knew that Bette would have to give her a session as well to insure that she knew both of us were in charge..
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