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She was dreaming and it was obvious that the dream was of an erotic nature. Once again a voice in my head told me to get out, but fainter this time and with less urgency, my subconscious knowing instinctively that she would not waken from her dream.As I stood there looking at my little girl, I suddenly became aware of a shadow of someone moving into the room behind me; it could only be my wife Roni. Her arm slid around my waist as she snuggled up to me, tilted her face to mine and brushed my jaw with soft moist lips and whispered,"Our little girl isn't so little any more is she?"I hugged her to me, looked down into her eyes and whispered back,"No, she is growing up fast, already masturbating in her sleep."I leaned down and kissed Roni deeply, running my tongue across her lips then dancing with hers for a long moment as she responded to my kiss. I lifted my face to break the kiss and for a moment, her lips lifted with mine, trying to maintain contact for an added instant. I looked. She isn't torn between two people. It's just me that she cares for and wishes to give her attention to. It's a nice feeling to have and it is an amazing thing to see, inspiring even, but I often worry that I am hurting her in the same way that he hurt me.I try to eradicate him from my thoughts, I really do, but it is not easy and I feel like a terrible, inadequate person because I have not found the strength to accomplish it. Especially as it complicates certain aspects of my relationship with Darci, like sex, for example. There have been times where it is not her I think of and it is not her name that I wish to call out. This has caused me to become more careful during our love making, and I have grown increasingly anxious when all I desperately want to do is let go and enjoy myself. I keep going back and forth with the thinking that I should let him go somehow and give my all to Darci. It is what she deserves given everything that she has done for me, after all. But in truth, I do.
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