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When theobject of one's desire has long hair; a beautiful face; wears makeup andfeminine attire; has round, womanly buttocks; has shaved legs, and isequipped with breasts, it is easier to accept the male genitals. One canrationalize his attraction to the shemale by telling himself that thisbeautiful, feminine creature is not a man. The shemale may also not be awoman, either, exactly, but, just as clearly, "she" is not a man--atleast, not fully. She is a he-she, a shemale, a third sex that is bothmale and female and, yet, paradoxically, at the same time, neither, malenor female.Despite this paradox, which would have it both ways, men want to think ofshemales as women, not as men. Therefore, such creatures are regarded aschicks with dicks rather than as dudes with boobs.Ultimately, shemales are denials of femininity. They cannot conceive.They cannot bear children. They cannot become mothers or, legally, wives.They are, at most, companions--playmates rather than helpmates--built forfun,. Neither of us were allowed a handphone until we graduated from high school and our access to the internet was always strictly monitored. Consequently, pornographic imagery was not something that I was familiar with at all. You can imagine my surprise and fascination when I saw pictures of men and women, not just naked - even that was mindblowing enough! - but also doing things with each other; things that seemed to be related to 'reproduction' and 'intercourse' but beyond my imagination or young knowledge.It started one day in high school when my sister, Lakita, who is two years old than me, played truant from school. In retrospect, I think my darling sister was always the one that was bound to lead me astray. On this occasion, she said found the magazine under our parents’ bed, but I now reckon she met her first boyfriend that day and he gave her the porno mag. That makes more sense. Anyway, as I was saying, I’d never seen any images of naked people before, let alone sex. I couldn’t.
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