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Oh, physically, the same beautiful package was there, but that was where the similarity ended.The Jessica that Julia had come to know wore expressions that were a contrasting mix of innocence and wariness, certitude and confusion, passion and reserve. Contrasts, conflicts, and irreconcilable opposites ruled her personality.The Jessica that challenged Julia then looked old, more than anything. There were no more conflicts in her expression. There was just loss, betrayal, and anger."When did you find out?" Julia asked gently."Yesterday morning." When you called so frantic to talk to me?" Yes." I'm sorry. I did not get home until very late last night," Julia exlained."Thank you for taking the time now. You really are a good friend." Just that statement from the woman would have been a shock at any other time. "Why didn't you tell me before?" I think you know, Jessica."After a long pause and a heavy sigh, Jessica said "I would have walked out or defended her." After another long pause,. In the process, their relationship became something he desperately wished he had enjoyed from his youth. He took her to visit every relative she had any contact with, most of whom had trouble with the 'final visit' idea. The time was precious, even allowing her some moments of levity.He realized early on that a big part of her fear was the impending loss of dignity at the end. She was a mentally strong person, proud yet modest. He could see that her last months would be made worse by the shame of having someone else do the very private tasks she could no longer do. She had already talked about having to go to a hospice or get private help when she could no longer take care of herself. It was hard for her to accept that he was willing to give her complete care. It was harder still to think of him, her son, doing those things for her."Mom," he said one morning as they were eating brunch, "I think I know something that's bothering you a lot." Oh? Besides dying too young, you mean?" When.
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