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”“You did WHAT?!” Jessica demanded angrily.“I chose to spar with the black belts and brown belts,” I repeated calmly. “I had been doing that anyway, after a talk with Sensei Hiro and after he established some firm rules.”“Stephen Mark Adams!” Jessica said exasperated. “YOU CANNOT DO THAT!”“Jess,” I snapped forcefully, “I love you, but DO NOT EVER use that tone of voice with me again. You are NOT my mom and if you decide you want to be, then Kara and I WILL find somewhere else to sleep. Permanently. Do you hear me?”She recoiled, “Sorry; but Tiger, sparring? Seriously?”“Yes, seriously. I evaluated the risk and made a decision. As I do with everything. Anyway, I used my secret weapon in sparring just as I had in the earlier street fight - my Aikido training. You know Sensei Hiro’s school focuses on basics and kata, with less emphasis on sparring. I discovered Shōtōkan has its own grapples and throws, but they aren’t taught before black belt level, and Sensei Hiro deemphasized them. And. I would work then go to my apartment. My co-workers took to calling me the hermit.Thinking back on the past was what I did every night while at home. At work I was busy enough that I didn't dwell on the past and what Sarah had done to us. Home was another story. I didn't drink or do drugs, so the pain seemed to stay right there. No matter where I was I missed her, and hated her. I was torn up inside. Angry, hurt, and lonely.I had asked myself many times over why, why had she done what she had done? Why throw it all away? Why the other men? I had lots of questions. No answers. The females at the office soon learned that while I seemed to be available I wasn't. They quit being quite so 'friendly' after a couple of months.The guys would try to get me to go out with them, but since their fun was bars and women, I declined. I just went home to work out, eat dinner, go to bed. I would get little sleep over the night, tossing and turning all night. I will say that my body was in the best.
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