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Many of them waved and hoped for aglimpse of me, but I knew the windows were too dark for them to see meinside. I waved back anyway.But even more importantly, I finally got to press the button to turn onthe fireplace. It was really cool to see the flames dancing around as wedrove, and I could even turn off the heat if I wanted to. That was reallycool!It was shortly after noon when the bus pulled off the highway and slowlystarted to make its way toward the fairgrounds in Paso Robles. They werejust off the 101, and we made a full loop around the fairgrounds to get tothe backstage area.The backstage area was between the stage and a camping area full ofcampers. As Eddie pulled the bus down the small street that led to thearea where he was told to park, I saw the few people around stop what theywere doing and watch as we passed.Soon Eddie parked the bus in its designated area near the other buses thathad already arrived. The area was situated where everyone could see it,yet it would still. ’ Not for the first time, her reasons sounded hollow to her own ears. ‘It was a little more complicated than that,’ her friend gently reminded. ‘I didn’t realized it at the time,’ Cathryn acknowledged. ‘ I just never connected my mother’s death in childbirth to my decision to remain childless.’ Barbara looked sympathetic. ‘You were only 3 years old, who could know the impact it would have on you? ‘All I knew was that my mother went to the hospital to have my baby sister and never came back. Obviously, it left a lasting impression – what happened to my mother was not going to happen to me.’ ‘Most of the men I’d dated were thrilled that I didn’t want kids, but I never loved any of them. No. . . I fell hopelessly in love with Stephen ‘And he wanted children more than anything ,’ her friend supplied. Cathryn paused, ‘Yes, he did. At 25, he felt his life was just beginning and could not imagine that life without a family. What we wanted, what we needed was just too different. So . . ..
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