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I often tossed thoughts around during this time: Did I seek divorce based on abandonment and take the kids mother from them? Was she even being a mother too them? Katharine's fourth birthday was coming up soon as Katie said nothing or had done nothing about it. She made no calls or tried to get with me to see if she could help.It's easy to say just get a divorce and go on. God knows I've said it a hundred times, but it's not as easy to do when you're the one forced to admit a chapter in your life is over, especially when it's a part of your life that you've grown comfortable with and really started to depend on. It's like coming to the decision to cut off one of your arms to save the rest of your body from infection.I used to wonder why battered women stayed in abusive relationships. Making the decision whether to divorce or not might feel like something similar, but I would be just guessing based on the level of pain uncertainty was bringing.At the end of the month Stacy's birthday. Paul turned to Kate and said, "Oh shit Kate, she is driving me off the deep end."Kate stood up and winked at Paul saying, "Let's go upstairs, you can stop in to see the girls then we can talk about it while you make love to me."Paul followed Kate up the stairs as he wondered what had happened to his world. He only stuck his head in the doors to his daughter's rooms and said goodnight before rushing off., He was afraid to go in so he quickly headed to his bedroom.Paul didn't make love to Kate, he fucked the shit out of her... hard and fast and Kate adored it. Later laying spent, Paul looked at Kate and said, "Honey will you please talk to Peggy and get her to stop parading around here bare ass? I can't take this." Well I can talk to her Paul, but she is so beautiful, I'm surprised you don't like the views she is giving you." Kate, stop it. The truth is I enjoy it too much. I hate to admit what I think as I look at that tight little body of hers." You and most of the men in town.".
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