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" I smile to myself remembering some of my previous appointments with Jake. Jake is Jake and I am happy with sharing him with god only knows how many women. I know I hold my own with the other women and sometimes even dare to think that I am a favorite. Jake and I have our final kiss and he bids us both good-bye. Seems he has to be home this evening, something to do with the wife no doubt. We decide that we will do some hunting the next day and start to look for a good campsite for the night. We are both tired and once we decide on a good spot we quickly build a fire and settle in for the night. I snuggle close to you and you hold me tight. I so love being held by you. You always make me feel special and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to really be your girl. I hate how much my husband changed after his illness, so needy. Todd and I will forever be friends but never again true lovers. Half a marriage, it is better than many I suppose and I don't have to lie. I. But when we are alone, living our lives, planning for the future and making love, just the two of us, it's much, much more than I can put into words.There's nothing I wouldn't do to make Bethany happy and that includes letting her go if I thought her leaving me would make the woman happier than staying with me, even though if she ever did leave me I would be crushed.I've had conversations with men and women who can't believe I let my wife screw around like I do. And I used to try and explain to them why we do the things we do, but they rarely get it. Not only don't they get it they get pissed at me when I tell them that the reason that they don't understand is that they are self-centered when it comes to their spouses.They are invested in their own wishes and desires, not their partners. They have too much wrapped up into how their significant other will reflect upon them. How it makes them look. Their spouses rank second in their relationship to their own self-interests and if the.
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