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I found a part-time job and slaved away washing dishes to earn enough money to pay for a computer and high-speed Internet access, all so I could browse for my mother's porn in complete privacy.Days became weeks; weeks became months and years. I had to train myself to listen carefully for my mother's approach, because I so often became hard whilst she was around. All I could think of was my mother, so no other girls held any interest for me; rumours began to circulate that I batted for the other team. Remembering how badly my first response to the accusation of my mother's past work had gone down, I refrained from solving the problem with my fists, but I was unable to bring myself to bed any of the High School girls.As soon as I looked at them, compared them to my mother. They were all too thin, too flat-chested- and for those rare few that did match my ideal body type, too young. They just lacked that indefinable quality that made older women, made my own mother, seem so much more. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.Crying is blackmail.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other oneYou can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.ALL.
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