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I never thought I'd say this but, I'd gladly take a math test over living on more night in this hell-hole of a wilderness. To be honest, it isn't as bad as I describe it. The lack of food I've been consuming in order to make sure my sister got her full was getting to my head. Being with my friends and my sister kind of sparks just a little bit fun. Just a tiny bit. It's a good thing that I watched a lot of survival TV shows back in the day because it has proven really useful. It's the main reason why they labelled me as the 'leader', or at least treat me like one. Hey, I guess all you need to do in order to become one is make a fire. Fire.. I remembered burning things as a child with my sisters. Things like paper, rubber-bands, and a whole lot of other materials. Now we actually rely on fire for survival, and not for entertainment purposes. At least looking at the fire at night, while on the cold and sometimes wet ground, under a leafy tree, brings back those great childhood. “Not only does it deflect the question, but it can lead, on occasion, to sex.”Oscar chimed in with, “Do not ever make the mistake of saying that there are some cultures that appreciate a well developed derriere while holding up a figurine of a woman with a humongous posterior. That little quip motivated my first two year expedition to locate the lost Aztec city of gold.”Magus said, “A well stocked medicine cabinet can be indispensable in a good marriage. You will want to stock it with sedatives for visits by in-laws, amphetamines for evenings to the opera, anti-depressants for when her sex drive dies, and aspirin for daily use.”“Don’t forget the Viagra for use with your mistress,” Oscar said.Nodding his head in agreement, Magus said, “Just so that you know, take a sedative before your first trip to the opera and then amphetamines to all visits thereafter. It will convince your wife that you’ve actually become interested in the opera as a result of her influence and will generally.
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