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But maybe I still have some pride. Some self-respect. She turns to me and her eyes…oh god, those eyes, with their reverse-medusa effect of turning women to jelly…Her piercing eyes bore right through to my soul. There are questions in them, and answers too if I care to ask. I unclip my seatbelt slowly, my stomach in a bitter knot. My mind is a mess. What is the right thing to do? My heart is splitting open again before her and the pain is real. I have to try to save it – save myself. I can’t go through this again, it’s not fair! I grab the handle and throw the door open and I’m out and walking away. And then I’m running, through the rain and the mud and the trees, until my lungs burn and the tears spill over and I’m blind and breathless and lost. And I know I’ve lost. I sink to my knees in the middle of the leaf-strewn path because my legs won’t support me any longer and I can’t go on. There’s nowhere to go. I am fighting against an advancing army of possibilities. I turn my face to. " I laughed.Cheerleaders was the only reason Tyler put on the sweaty mascot costume. They were far out of his league; further than me. "Matt?" Gretch looked at me. "Yeah?" I replied."Am I pretty?" I was taken back. Out of the five years of our friendship, those words or anything like them never came out of her mouth. And so she sat beside, with her arms around my waist, and expected me to answer that question seriously. "You're Gretchen..." I rumbled."Oh, I'm Gretchen?" She sounded annoyed as well as hurt. Her arms went back onto her sides and I spoke, "Gretchen, we've been friends for five years. What do you want me to say?" I sounded annoyed but I didn't mean it. "I don't want you to say, I want you to feel. I've loved you since the first day we met in arts and crafts, Matt. This is sort of what happens in long-term friendships..." I don't..." I was speechless. "You don't." Gretch stood up from the metal bench and walked past me in a hurry. She looked like she was going to cry as.
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