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”On Deer Hunting:If you ever miss one, it’s because the bullet’s moving too fast.Slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour, put some headlights and a little horn on it -- the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet.There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read, “Now there are two!”A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was. I want it over with before I start college in the fall." She said it casually like she was commenting on the weather and she did it just as Winston had stuck a forkful of cake into his mouth. She seemed to enjoy doing this sort of thing while he was trying to eat."What?!" cried everyone at the table."Out of the question," their father objected."I wasn't asking permission, Dad. I was letting you know." We are not financing this," he replied calmly."No prob. I'm paying for it." And there was the trump card his sister had never played. Jess's modeling stint had brought in some pretty good money for a little over three years. Their parents put three quarters of it towards her college. The last quarter they'd given her and she'd stuck it into a savings account. She'd never touched it. Not even a penny. She drove their mom's old car and waited tables on the weekends with her friends for spending cash. It was almost like she'd forgotten about the money.In the middle of what should have been.
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