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It made for a cocktail of lethal emotions. I could not be sure if she knew that I was unable to see her. I strained to catch the slightest of sounds; the softest of breaths, the lightest of footfalls but there was nothing but her scent. Through this alone, I could build up a unique picture of her in my mind of which I would always remember.Standing there, I experienced a sexual thrill that I had never been able to produce with imagination. I did not feel afraid of the delectable form before me but of the unknown. It was the thought of what may happen in the next few minutes. Although I felt somewhat turned on by this woman, it was obvious that she was not too happy to see me there in her room. I longed to be on my way back to the sanctuary of my flat, to settle on my single bed, under the duvet with my thoughts and middle finger for company. I moved closer to where I knew the door lay, my heart beating fast. I hoped that this woman's sense of smell did not surpass my own. To me, the. The return trip to the ranch was pure torture; she became an ice statue, cold, distant, not answering me when I spoke to her. All of a sudden I was reminded of her, my mother, thirteen years ago when I was a teenager, and the reasons for which I had fled my parent's house and why had I not wanted to see her for so many years. Would history repeat again?My heart broke in my chest like a fragile crystal vase.Arriving to the ranch she got down from the car, always silent, and did enter the house, I put the car in the barn and entered the same house not knowing what my role would be from now on. Soon it was made very clear to me,"John, I need time alone to discern what I'm going to do about this ... this ... this pregnancy, will you please take your clothes and personal things from my bedroom and return to your former room". She told me not looking at me.I was confounded, aghast, this was the woman I had adored all this years, the woman who had told me she loved me only a few days ago; I.
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