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Two hours later I was in Blackburn at one of my regular customers, John a nice young man he was tall well eductaed with blond hair and blue eyes and always smelt of Aramis aftershave he had worked hard to build his business up and it seemed to have paid off, after the usual frendly niceties John placed a good order with me then we sat chating and drinking turkish coffee for a short while until I knew it was time to go and with his order and a cheque for the payment in my case we shook hands and parted, but today it was different from other visits as we shook hands I noiced a sadness in his eyes and he himself seemed different he was not his usaul bright happy cheerful self and his hand shake was different today althouh it was warm his hands felt soft and womanly it was as though he didnt want me to leave or was I just imagining it. By a little afte twelve I was furter up north heading this time into Newcastle and another of my regular customers, luck was with me for as I drove into. I would wear more feminine clothes except that I am afraid. I don't wear a bra, yet. My breasts are too small. Why can't I be better endowed? Soon I hope.I was dressed more feminine recently at a major mall near my home. I was standing near the food court when a young man told his child to watch out for the woman, meaning me. I smiled. It made my evening.Others are beginning to see me closer to the way I see myself. People open doors for me now. I find other courtesies from strange men that are reserved for women, like offering a hand. It is interesting when I encounter it. I am not used to reacting like a woman, and at times, have to remind myself what to do. I say to myself "I'm not an invalid." I am beginning to relax with this and accept what others do for me because of my new sex, and realize that it is their kindness that I am accepting.In the end, though, I am changing because it makes me calmer. I am at peace with myself. I like myself better. In some ways this change has.
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