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We laughed and forgot about the sales clerk until later that night. We were in the den, watching television with Sheila when Charlie suddenly got up and disappeared, returning a few minutes later with a high school yearbook."I knew I'd seen her some place before. It's been driving me crazy. Look here," Charlie said, handing me the book."Ah! I told you she wasn't a real blonde!" I exclaimed when I saw the girl's photo, making Sheila, who was a real blond, look at me witha critical eye. She questioned Charlie about the book and he said the kid next door loaned it to him. There were some classmates fromelementary school he wanted to look up.I checked the cover of the book and discovered if was from 1986, the year we were freshmen."Hmm ... Melinda Swan was a junior in 1986. That makes her what ... nineteen or twenty?" I said.Sheila wanted to know what we were talking about, and Charlie told her about the sales clerk in the clothing store asking if we were officers. He made it sound. It wasn’t old enough to profit from the Prog revival and not contemporary enough to be considered alt-folk or electro-acoustic art music. But here was Sally Tyrant laying into those musicians and bands she deemed traitors to the cause of Rock Culture as she judged it. In her eyes, Crystal Passion represented the very worst deviation from Rock Music’s sacred mission. The eponymous lead singer and her band were being too clever by half. The music was trying to be both pop and art and had failed as both. Crystal Passion belonged to the same tradition as Sufjan Stevens, the Unthanks and Badly Drawn Boy. The band was striving towards something ambitious, something epic and something deep, but succeeded only in being trite, hackneyed and unconvincing. Rock Music was best represented by bands like the Foo Fighters, Muse and Stiff Little Fingers who fashioned a no-nonsense style that said all that was needed to be said without complicating the message with mystical nonsense and fanciful.
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