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You both must know what it’s like to go through something difficult like that. That’s not an experience everyone shares.’ ‘Um, yeah.’ Connie had an ugly suspicion where the conversation was heading, and hoped she was wrong. ‘Simon is very handsome.’ What is it with the non sequiturs? Connie wondered in frustration. Out loud she said, ‘Yes, he is. I’ve always thought so.’ ‘Do you think you’ll have some pie?’ her mom asked. ‘I mean, you must be watching your weight more than ever now.’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Well, Simon, of course.’ Her mother laid dessert plates on the tray. ‘You want to look your best for him, don’t you?’ ‘He likes me the way I am,’ Connie managed to sputter out. ‘Of course, he does, dear,’ said Lydia. ‘But it never hurts to be in shape. Women do a lot to keep men happy, you know. I go to the gym every day to keep fit for your father. Clothes, too. We should go shopping while you’re here.’ She poured cream from a carton into a pitcher and set it on the tray. ‘Right.’. Moreover, his-her death is already underway, since one begins to die as soon as he or she (or he-she) is born. The shemale's developing awareness of his-her anima and its demand for birth, as it were, from his-her consciousness has set the clock of personal death, of "Armageddon and its release." The "beast" is the shemale's fear of being born again, out of himself-herself.It is not enough for the narrator, the anima insists, for him-her to cross dress. Merely playing at being a woman, by wearing women's clothes, behaving as a woman, and acquiring a boyfriend, will not satisfy his-her true longing, which is to become a shemale, not a female; if anything, cross dressing would merely be a cover, like a blanket of snow: "Would we able to wrap/ Everything up in a beau/ Or bow or bough,/ In a travesty of womanhood,/ All feathery with snow...." Instead, a journey is required, along a "highway" that is "as empty as it is long,/ TravelingFrom coast to coast/ And lonely between Fallon/.
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