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He’d come visit me often in New York City, whether he was off in California, Michigan, Providence. He’d come along with everyone else to my annual New Year’s party, too, with all my other college buddies. We’d wander the streets, go to the movies, go out for coffee, and go out for drinks. We’d talk all night, we’d share beds when my apartment was packed with visitors, awkwardly kissing goodnight while horizontal. I wondered what would happen, nothing ever did, that was cool, though. We’d always kiss goodnight, though, hugging in darkened hallways and whispering long after everyone else had fallen asleep. He turned down the first real pass, the one I made in college, a few weeks after the night of the scarf, before I broke my engagement. I turned down the next one, that he made a few years after college, just after I started dating a co-worker at my social work job, cursing my poor timing but pushing him away at the same time. He turned down the next one, made by mail, when he was in. "We are still friends,” she whispered. "Go ahead and get dressed. I will wait in the living room." With my stomach doing flip-flops, I got dressed in my standard blue jeans and flannel shirt. "I am so embarrassed" I mumble. "Not only did you see me naked for the first time, but you also found out..." " ...that you like to wear women's clothes." "Yes" I reply, staring at the floor. After a very long pause, you ask "Are you gay? You've never made a pass at me and you never married." "I couldn’t make a pass at you. You are married! And, no, I’m not gay. The idea of sex with a male is repulsive to me. If I were born with female plumbing I would be lesbian." "But your male plumbing does work - at least I assume it does, since you were hard when you first opened the shower door." "It works" I replied, still a little uneasy about the whole situation. "Relax. The cat's out of the bag now and as far as I'm concerned we're still friends. If you care to talk.
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