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By this stage I had lost all feelings of guilt about not being able to prevent it from happening, as I became more and more aware that after the initial fright and concern, my darling wife had actually enjoyed the experience and I knew that I certainly had. A number of times I almost suggested we find someone else to share our bed one night, but could never quite bring myself to say it out aloud.I started reading about threesomes and foursomes and even two couples, though it wasn't that I particularly wanted to have sex with another woman. As weird as it might sound to many, I knew that I enjoyed watching and participating with my lovely wife. Sure, the possibility of watching her with another woman had some appeal, but I suppose because of what had been forced upon us, I become more and more obsessed with the thought of sharing my darling May with another man.One night, about two months after our (May's) rape experience, I took May from behind with her encouragement, driving my. ’ I was still sorting through my thoughts when tears started rolling down her cheeks. Difficult as it was, I had to ignore them. ‘You said yourself that my relationships have been long term, I am not Jack the Lad! If I found someone who would make me happy it would not be for the moment, or a couple of years. It would be for whatever remains of my life. Ilike you Ally, and I have no doubt that I could grow to love you. If I look into the future though, all I can see is despair when you have moved on to someone closer to your age. I heard what you said about age the other day, But you cannot pretend it isn’t there. The older you get the more difficult it becomes to find love, and finding it with you would be a fool’s paradise, if after a year or two I am alone again, as I most assuredly would be.’ I leant over and kissed her tears away. ‘You have paid an old man a great compliment. Please let me live with good memories, not hurt.’ Ally threw her arms around me, holding me tight. ‘It.
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