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.. ‘The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?’The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’To which little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.’LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHLittle RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.‘Why’ asks the father?‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ ‘‘I said 6”, replies RALPHY.‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to. ’ *** The park was full of people trying to soak up the last bit of summer before the full Northeastern cold set in. We were in view of a large stone fountain, small children throwing in their pennies as their parents snapped photos on their phones. Couples strolled around leisurely, holding hands, looking endlessly happy. Still couldn’t hold a candle to how happy I was. ‘You know, this is hands-down my best birthday ever.’ I mused as I popped a grape in my mouth. Shane lay on his side in front of me, stroking my leg through my jeans. He hadn’t stopped touching me in some capacity since last night, as if we were permanently affixed together. He tried to nip my finger as I fed him a potato chip. ‘Seriously? Didn’t you have parties as a kid?’ ‘I mean, I did, but they were more for my mother to show me off. I never had the balloons and sugary cake and running around with friends. Instead I got stuffy co-workers of my dad’s and finger sandwiches.’ ‘Well, that explains why you didn’t.
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