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Yes I was physically there but mentally I had completely checked out. There were times when I wished I could just curl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and just stay there. The day of the wake was also the day of a horrible snowstorm. We all piled into the van and made the dangerous drive to the funeral home. The entire time I say in the backseat praying that we would not get into a horrible accident and up severely injured or even worse dead. The angels must have been watching over us because we all arrived in one piece. The moment I walked into the funeral home, I could feel a strange heaviness in the air. This caused me to run into the bathroom in order to compose myself. I took a few deep breaths and splashed water onto my face. ‘Get a hold of yourself,’ I said. I almost wished that I had not come. I know it was my cousin but all of the sorrow coupled with my own was already beginning to overwhelm me. As the day rolled on, I struggled to keep my composure among the. The others touched her shoulders, the wrappings around her, bending her body ever so slightly, and finding a slight moistness remaining in the layers surrounding her. She was not yet as fully bound as she would be.They returned then to Tiger, to see her state. Surrender can take many forms. Where Jade had allowed her immobility to wash over her, to consume her and become her, Tiger had demanded for herself proof. Once alone, she had tried to lift her shoulders, without success. She had raised her legs to the ceiling, first one, then the other, without in fact the slightest movement in them. Her hips had tried to buck upward, with no more success than any other part of her body. Her fingers, even, welded to her hips, could not be flexed, or wiggled, or moved in any way. There was - barely - enough space for her to breath, if she did so shallowly, but no more. Even flexing the muscles in her arms was denied to her, since her bonds not only held her tight, held her immobile,.
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