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In fact, I wouldn’t put it past Robert to have me arrested during the funeral.”“What’s Stanley advised you to do?”“He says we’re to stay cool until he can strike, but, at the moment, I’m feeling like a tethered goat that’s bait for a tiger. What’s worse, I think I’m handling this better than Kathleen.”“Why would that be?” asks Charlotte.“Mom, KK’s mom often assists in the kitchen when things get hectic. Because of that a lot of those people know her and know she’s KK and Ryan’s mother. Kathleen feels this will also discredit Beverly and throw her back into depression.”“Ouch. I guess I need to see Beverly as soon as the funeral is over.”“Mom, I’d appreciate it if you’d take a few minutes to call her now. Invite her to come with us, or go with you somewhere after the funeral. It’s taken us a long time to get her out of the bottle, and if she goes back we may never do it again.”“I didn’t know about that. Thanks for the warning, as my normal thing would have been to invite her out for a. It was my masturbation habits. She never expressed any opinions that mypractice was excessive. Yet I seemed to get that impression. What seemedto concern her most was how I was using masturbation to, as she put it,to change the subject at hand, no pun intended. I was using it as a meansof avoidance. A way to avoid thinking about certain things that might betroubling me. Like when my thoughts would turn to A_ and I would get themout of my mind by escaping into masturbation. Something like that.Indeed the therapy sessions were causing me to think more about thingsthat made me uncomfortable. And maybe it's true that I seem to bemasturbating even more lately."So Jeff," Ilona began one day, "how are things?" Fine?" I said knowing that really I was supposed to say more. While mycomfort level was quite high with Ilona, there were certain moments whenI would shy into myself."How did your promise to yourself from the last session go," she asked?I thought back to the last session. We had.
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