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It had occurred to me more than once that I used to be on a very good thing. “So you’re straight on club night; and gay the rest of the time?” I asked with a little edge of sarcasm in my voice. “God! You don’t get it!” he cried. “The Widow does something to you! After a night there, you’d fuck a dog on a chain … AND THE DOG WOULD THANK YOU! I choose to go home after The Widow because despite everything, I love my wife and I value our marriage. I could go off to a prostitute, but there’s no point; it just doesn’t matter who you fuck – whether you love them or hate them or just don’t care – it’s always the most brain-snappingly orgasmic sex you’ll ever have. Before menopause, my wife used the pill to schedule her periods around club night, but before she worked out that little trick, I had to take my wagon elsewhere a couple of times a year. I’ve fucked guys and girls, prostitutes and people I’ve picked up in bars … this one time I used an old cum-soaked street whore with missing teeth. "And what he's got is a picture of your asshole." Well, maybe he won't... Maybe he hasn't... Maybe he..." Gordon Peters? Are you kidding?" said Gloria. "By now, he's probably got it plastered all over the Internet. By now, half the nerds in the known universe are riveting their pretty blue eyes to your pretty little asshole, and jetting off to beat the band."Haley moaned, and burrowed her head back under Clyde the oversized teddy bear."It's not my fault," Gloria said."Oh, yeah?" Haley answered from under the bear. "Then whose fault is it?"We could blame it on Haley's ancient, wildly wooly-haired science teacher, Mr. Wilson, who a week ago paired Haley and Gordon for the fall science project. Or we could blame Haley's mother, who'd given Haley the mega-pixel digital camera for her birthday five days ago, which naturally Haley brought right over to Gloria's house so they could try it out, snapping picture after picture of each other. Or we could blame Gloria's older sister who, a few.
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