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“Yes!” Practice does make a difference! I held my hands up and did the standard signal for three points!“Bec! Don’t be difficult!”“What?”“You need to take your clothes off. I can’t see what your muscles are doing when they’re covered up!”“Oh!” It hadn’t occurred to me that Mum would want me to model naked. Pretty stupid, I guess. I shook my head. Every other time I’d ended up naked in front of Mum in the last week had either been an accident or she’d whipped the clothes off my back when I was distracted. This was the first time I was voluntarily taking my clothes off for my mother, and yes I was stripping off. I hardly hesitated. I figured it was just as well no one would ever know about this because probably some sicko out there would decide this was some sex thing my mother had going. There wasn’t anything sexy about this at all, she was into her painting and wanted to see what she was painting. It was nothing more than that.Mum had me put my hair into a pony-tail and then stand. My bedroom was next to his, so Icould hear him moaning through the night. I started my Freshman year ofcollege and had a difficult time of adjusting at first. Around thebeginning of October my uncle went into the hospital for the last time.He died about two weeks later. To this day I still miss him. He was atruly remarkable person.Around the time I was nineteen, I was feeling that I should have beenborn a girl. Then, I thought that if God wanted me to be a girl, I wouldhave been born a girl. I felt that I had to accept being born a male.This started me on a period that would be my longest form of denial.Part 4 - The Later YearsWhen I was nineteen, I thought that being male was a mistake. Then onenight I thought that if God wanted me a female I would have been born afemale. This thought cost me many years of suffering. I then tried toact more like a male, but I wasn't very successful. In my mind's eye Iwould still think of myself as a female.When I was around twenty or twenty-one, an.
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