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I went back to our cabin after that. Being out on the deck and seeing all that fucking water did nothing to make me feel better. I grabbed the map of the ship that we'd been given and looked for the gym. I went to check out the gym and looked over their selection of exercise machines and weights.It wasn't like I was a body builder or anything like that. Actually at 5'9" and 170, I'm on the smaller side of the equation. But I'd worked out and pursued a variety of sports for my entire life. Working out regularly was one of the ways I got rid of the stress that my high pressure job created.After leaving the gym, I checked the map and found to my dismay that the running track was on one of the upper decks. That made no fucking sense to me. I guess this is a good time to mention that besides my phobia about boats, I'm also afraid of heights.It seemed stupid to me to have the track on a higher deck. Since each successive deck had less surface area, the track could be larger and more stable. "Being the center of attention was bad enough. The other cadets made it worse by giggling like girls. They rushed me en masse and groped me—and I just 'left the room' mentally. I felt as if I were standing outside my body and looking down from a corner of the ceiling. I can't tell you who, but one cadet roughly poked my butt with fingers, another licked me, a third was pinching me—"AH-TEN-SHUN!" It was Drill Instructor Sergeant Saunders, and he was not a happy man. I had been knocked to the floor and I stood up and assumed the position of 'Attention' slowly. It took me a moment to recover from that feeling of being separated from my body. A mental health provider would call it 'disassociation, ' a survival tactic often adopted by abused people. "Cadet Corporal Hernandez, explain what you were doing!" Practicing reasonable requests, sir," Hernandez replied. "It got out of hand. Sorry, sir, it won't happen again." What have you got to say for yourself, Cadet Thistle?" Saunders snarled.
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