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Or was she just being nice to me? Would that be so bad, for someone to just want to be nice to me for once? Thinking that always made me feel all the more guilty though for dreaming about touching her the way that I do. Carrie was so sweet, so pretty.. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t ask her why she did what she did. I could barely find the words to speak to her when I was near her. So I always just sat and nodded and smiled if I could, and thought about her kissing me, just once, whenever I looked away. Today as I walked by it was a little easier then most. She was wearing a big white men’s tee shirt and a pair of cut-off shorts instead of her usual pretty halter-tops and sundresses. Her long blonde hair was pulled back tightly in a ponytail that made her seem a just bit younger and her bare feet were kicking back and forth in the grass. ‘Afternoon Tim!’ She yelled at me, smiling a little broader than usual I guess. I couldn’t help but return the grin. Being near her was. "I would never haveguessed you were a guy from all the months we have been talking. I knowthere are lots of guys pretending to be girls but you really are a girlonline - there is nothing at all male about you. Even girls I know aresure you are a lovely female. I am guessing your virtual self is closer tothe real you than maybe the person I see before me."I blushed, in a very girly way. Then it all blurted out and I told him howI have been dressing up in girl's clothes ever since I was little. How asI grew up I had a secret existence where I would go away for a weekend andbe Cindy all alone. How second Life allowed me to be the girl I wanted tobe and how I made so many wonderful friends. And how that led me to him,my best friend ever, in the virtual world and the real world.He smiled and held my hand secretly under the bar. "It is funny seeing youlike this, but I know it is you inside and I like you so very much. Evenlove you. I am conflicted. I want to see a girl and dance with her.
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