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Everything was in red velvet and in the middle of the room was a huge heart shaped bed, in the corner was a Jacuzzi large enough for 4 people. A large flat screen TV was on the wall visible from the entire room. The shower was clear glass with 2 shower heads opposite each other. If it wasnt for our dinner reservations in 30 min. we would have jumped in the Jacuzzi. Off we went to our candle lit dinner and several cocktails. I knew our time schedule for the evening and was trying to keep the surprise by staying on time. We returned to the room at 9:00 pm and decided to hit the hot tub as we shed our clothes and I watched my gorgeous wife step into the bubbling water. I opened the champagne and we toasted to the beginning of a great evening. After our toast Kim asked, what do you mean beginning, isnt the night about over? No my Love it is just getting started. She looked at me like I was a brick short of a full load as she picked up the remote and turned the TV to one of the 2 porn. As incredibly sexy as she was, the nonverbal emotional experience was even more intense. Both of us had scar tissue from things that had inhibited us. For me, it had been the emphasis on my needing to be hypersensitive to any "no" from a woman. That came from my assorted foster female parents, who really were rather negative about men. It made it difficult for me to engage in the flirtations and play that would lead to both sexual and emotional closeness. Working girls let me get rid of the worst of the tensions, but weren't the right people to banish guilt. I did have a couple of girlfriends, or friends that were girls, but those tended to be odd relationships. Several were mostly lesbian-identified, but they didn't assume I was "safe" as were some gay guys, but rather someone they trusted for limited physical interaction that probably wasn't going to go anywhere.At some point, one of us stopped for breath, and the other found that breathing probably was a fine idea. We held one.
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