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I can’t describe how you looked in bikini last night. I love you just the way you are. The feel of your skin against mine. Your breasts, your ass, everything is perfect. It’s not just the sex. I can’t explain it. Kris, I think you are most beautiful, sexy, desirable woman I ever met.’ He looked deeply into her eyes. ‘I mean it and I’m not just saying it for the moment. I don’t think I have ever been this deeply in love with anyone in my life. Understand?’ Before she could answer, he took his hands from her, turned,and left the kitchen, leaving her alone with her thoughts. What just happened here? Kris thought. Was Matt telling her that somehow he wasn’t in love with Susan? That he is just realizing that now? She was Susan’s best friend and she thought she knew everything about the two of them. She knew Susan wasn’t a great cook but she didn’t know that Matt did most of it. She only had dinner here when he cooked on the grill. What about their sex life? Susan told Kris a lot about it. The result of all this was a hard headed woman of 22 with little self respect, a strong determination and a chip on her shoulder a mile wide. She had grown to love pain, including self harm, feeling that she needed to be punished heavily, though for what she really had no definite idea. She had avoided d**gs or alcohol abuse, having seen others go down that road she felt that way led to a woman not being in control, and she very much needed to be “in control” especially of her own punishment and ultimate demise. She in short wished to be used and ultimately to commit suicide, but not just to end her life in some pill taking or a jump from a cliff. She wanted more, she planned to make both money and a statement, to die in such a way that she could leave something not for her-self but for her son as she felt it was all she could do for him, distanced as she was from contact, she also wanted to help the plight of other youngsters in care. That was why she was here today in Mike.
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