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I regret how obedient I was, how easy I was to victimize. I regret how everything in my body told me to scream or run or fight, but I stupidly didn’t. I regret that I was meek and quiet, letting him use my virgin body for his pleasure just so I could get what I wanted.I knew what sex was; I wasn’t an idiot, I was just a virgin. Even so, this wasn’t what I learned in sex ed.I’m sure you know who Harvey Weinstein is. He’s a disgusting pig who ran a movie company, until he got put in prison for doing to hundreds of other women what he did to me - though I never reported him for doing it to me. If I had done it years ago, right after this happened, what would have been different? I can't know that, no one could. All I know is that I didn't, and he went on to rape me, and countless other women, for years. You might know who Harvey Weinstein is, but what you don't know is that he sought me out with the purpose of ruining me mentally, physically, and completely. All of which he did for. " That's unusual for a couple of high school juniors," I said."Apparently. I don't know if it'll last. You know how high schoolers can be. But they sure do fit together. One of the few of those things where it doesn't seem like one's using the other." Her eyes connected with mine. "Of course, you and me, we define that idea, don't we." But only one of us is a high schooler." Uh-huh," she said. "And as the girl from a disadvantaged background, I COULD be using you. And YOU, as a middle-aged guy from a failed marriage, YOU could be taking advantage of me." She folded her arms for a second to emphasize the point, then unfolded them and half-climbed over me, wrapping her arms around me as best she could. "But I totally, irrevocably love you..." And I incontrovertibly adore you," I said."So all those presuppositions (I loved her expanding vocabulary) about relationships are fine as long as you realize that those are RANGES of activity and there's room for outliers on the curve." Nikki knew.
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