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" Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you," she said. "Unfortunately thishappens much too often!" She handed me a tissue and said, "How about we remove your lipstick andstart over." Oh, no, it must look awful, I forgot!" Well you are definitely starting to become more female. Sometimes thechanges become obvious quite quickly. It's partly genetics and partlyDr. Z's program." I don't know if this is part of what is going on but, despite my run-in,I sure seem happier than I used to be. Could this be part of it? Iwondered."It certainly could be. Come to think of it, I am happier now than frombefore in my guy days."I handed her my bright red lipstick tube and she chuckled and said, "Oneof the first you need to learn is what color would look best on you.Here, let's try me show you with some of mine." She went for her purseand pulled out a tube of peach-colored lipstick. "Now watch me." as shepursed her lips and applied it expertly, rubbing her lips together andthen blotting. "Now you. The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called ‘impeckable’ tree almost without breaking a sweat.Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you’re away from home.This one is compliments of Rick M.Things that you should never say to a woman during an argument:10- Don’t you have some laundry to do or something?9- Aww, you are so cute when you get all ticked off.8- You’re just upset because your a****is beginning to spread.7- Wait a minute -- I get it. What time of the month is it?6- You’re sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?5-.
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