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"Today, the Government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!Now, in Canada, we can only retire at 67, not 65. The government officials get the big bucks in their pocket and can retire at 55 with full protected pension while the taxpayers, us, slave for pennies and they're even getting rid of them. Go figure.I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Old Age Security, retirement funds, etc, I called a Suicide Hotline.I had to press 3 for English.I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.They got excited and asked if I could fly a plane or drive a truck.Folks, we're screwedDoctors(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.© Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.Now think about this:Guns(A) The number of gun owners. The girls untied me. I sat up."What did you put into my glass of wine? It knocked me on my ass!" Isaid."I told her to put Viagra into the wine. She put that into all theglasses," Chris said."And I put some E into yours," Morgan said."E?" I asked."Ecstasy. I didn't realize you'd have a bad trip. It's never done thatto me," Morgan said."What time is it?" I asked."The middle of the night, 2am," Chris said."I've been asleep for 12 hours?" I asked."Oh, no. You've been asleep for maybe 6 hours," Morgan said."And the other 6 hours?" I asked."Can I mention right now that you were the most amazing sex partner I'veever been with?" Morgan said."I don't remember a whole lot. Did I really have sex with you for 6hours?" I asked."Not continuously. We took a few breaks," Chris said."And some of the time you just watched," Morgan said."I remember fucking you in the ass," I said to Morgan."Yes, it was amazing," Morgan said."Do you remember fucking me?" Chris said."Before I blacked out, yes," I.
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