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’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog. ”“Kay.” As he folded “The Wall Street Journal.”But, she’d walked away. The stores patiently waiting her arrival, their checkbook in her Rodeo Drive handbag.“Buddy-boy, what’s the matter?”Mister Ed queried his owner as Wilbur Post entered their shared space of stable and office.Ed had heard the sirens and seen the ambulance arrive, then watched yet another extra long vehicle depart hours later in total silence. Something or other “Mortuary” printed on the side.Wilbur had been crying.“Addison, he is dead.”Ed knew death only in the abstract of production parameters and entertainment value. This, this was not that.“I’m sorry, Wilbur. What happened?”Ed’s tone caused Wilbur to pause a bit. He’d expected different, a side of himself, a side he did not care for believed Ed would slough it off with jocularity about a “vinegar puss.”“He was sitting with Kay, Ed, and fell over on the couch. He’s gone. He’s just gone. Carol is with Kay, Ed, they’re crying.”“I have an idea, Wilbur.”“What, Ed?”“How.
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