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I got up and knelt in front of Danielle, took both her hands in mine, stared into her deep sapphire eyes, and bared my soul to her. I told her that I’d always loved her like a daughter, and it wasn’t until last October when we first made love, that I saw her as Danielle – the beautiful and desirable young woman she had become. I confessed that the memories of the passionate moments we’d shared would last me for a lifetime, and that she was the most physically attractive and sexually appealing woman I’d ever had an intimate relation with. I told Danielle she was too young to become romantically involved with an older man like me, and that she needed to find someone closer to her own age. I said that there was no reason why a young and pretty woman such as herself would want to become embroiled in a relationship with a married man twice her age — especially me! I told Danielle it was ridiculous, it was irrational, and she would be ruining her life. I said there were a thousand good. * A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.Compliments of LarryOne hot summer day, Bruce came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into the pub for a cold one.Some 20 minutes later, a cop entered the bar and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside... ?"Bruce called out, "It's mine, mate." Your dog seems to be in heat," the cop said.Bruce replied, "No way. She's cool as, 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree."The cop said, "No... ! You don't understand. Your dog.
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