She’d never let me read them cover to cover like I wanted but sometimes she’d give me a quick glance at a page. Ideas, stories, recipes, poetry, pictures. It didn’t make any sense but it felt powerful, like some strong, serene secret. Things that only she would ever know or understand. People are unique, people are incredible but I’d never met anyone like Maddie. The nights worked. They always worked. Bed. Sheets. Handcuffs. Rope. She always used to ask me why I enjoyed restraining her and I could never give her an answer that felt honest. It went beyond the physical, of course. And it was shaded with darkness. Why would I want to tie her up? Because it made me feel like I owned her? I write that as a question but it’s an answer, really. And of course owning her body didn’t mean I owned her mind but the way she’d look at me when I was on top of her made me feel like she was giving her whole self to me. She was so good at it that it obviously wasn’t any kind of act or lifestyle. The confidence Renée and Erin poured into me cut through my doubts about how to contact my girls. I was already in contact with them, only they didn't know it. I reached out and touched each gently on the cheek. Everyone stopped what they were doing at the familiar sensation and looked up as if seeing me in return.Some of them had questions, but very quickly everyone realized that it was a group meeting, just like when we slept. The only differences were that everyone was dressed and I only wanted to share memories with them. It only took a second, like always, and everyone understood what had to happen. Immediately they changed the course of their immediate actions, either heading back to the complex, back to their rooms to pack or to notify coworkers that they had received an emergency call and had to leave. I caught a few thoughts from some of them and a couple of those drew my attention.Jeri had been worried about having the opportunity to tell me something. She felt it was very.
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