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– – – And I was still alone within my room, curled up in a teary ball in Trevor’s old recliner. I reached into my back pocket and I pulled out my cell phone, punching in the seven digits I knew by heart and would never forget, yet hadn’t used in such a long time. My thumb lingered over the call button for what felt like an eternity, shaking with an anxious fear that nearly felt to be nauseating. For long minutes I tried to gather up the courage to push that one damn button, but every time I thought I had, my body froze again. And then I realized that I had lost my chance to be brave when the doorknob rustled and I heard the sound of keys jingling on the other side of the door. I flipped my cellphone shut at the sound, and I frantically tried to wipe away all evidence that I had been crying from off my cheeks, hoping that I had succeeded by the time Trevor stepped through the door. He was fucked up, on what I did not know, but his eyes were bloodshot, he stumbled in his step, and he. This could, I thought, be a difficult discussion.Not a bit of it: never underestimate the power of FUCK. It turns the world upside down. Things that used to be easy, like taking a tube ride without seducing some gorgeous girl, get very tricky; and things that one would expect to be difficult, like telling your wife of twenty years that you love another woman, become strangely straightforward.I stressed that I still loved my wife, that I had no intention of divorcing her, that she was still indescribably precious to me. But I confessed my feelings for Fran; that she was equally special in a different way.Wendy was initially perturbed by the portentous way I told her we had something very important to discuss, and maybe I did not help matters by rather beating about the bush, but once she realised where I was heading she took the whole thing in the easiest and most relaxed way imaginable, as if it were nothing at all remarkable or unusual: a natural development, perfectly.
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