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21. "Yah, Zeke, she was a worse whore in Nineveh than in all her younger days in Egypt, and she even got bigger implants when she was there, in order to make herself more attractive to those ass-faced buggers from Chaldea.22. So I cursed her bad, appearing to her as a Giant Floating Squid hovering over her refrigerator, and telling her that all her johns would come to torment her from every side.23. The Babylonians, the Chaldeans, the Pekod, the Shoa, the Koa and all the Assyrians that she'd fucked24. And that they'd bring with them several tonnes of shackles, scourges, rods and Chinese finger torture devices, and that they would set upon her body in a riot of sado-masochism."25. "Who the hell is Masoch?" I asked. "O Zeke, never mind, he lives about 2,500 years from now but I know that because I'm omniscient-like, you know." "Right, sorry, I forgot."26. God went on, acting a bit dangerous whenever I interrupted, a most unsettling sight.27. "I told her I would do all this, and worse,. I hope you can expect to be on my terms for a very long time, perhaps forever.”“Why should I stray at all?” I asked.He finished his wine.“Because I won’t have anything to do with you if you don’t. It’s the only way you’ll get to this.” He gestured a hand, flourishing over his package. I gaped at it, my mouth watering. Even UPS would have found it way too much to handle.So I was trapped. “Wait.” I said, “How will I know who is bigger?”He beamed, standing tall. “I was hoping you’d ask. Of course the visual reference should make it obvious… but just in case,” He tossed something to the floor in front of him with a clang.It was a monolithic metal ruler.*Firelight flickered around the tall, muscled man. I found myself on hands and knees, crawling for the measuring stick. Nervously, I clutched it in one curled hand as I straightened up.I was face to face with his crotch.He stood with his legs spread, arms behind his back. It was clear the work was to be mine.My hands shook as I struggled.
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