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" She laughs again. "I write stories and publish them on the Internet. And I never, ever, tell anybody I do it." Why not?" I say. "Nothing wrong with that."She puts on a big act of looking both ways to see that we're alone--we are, I mean, nobody else has come in, the place is a morgue--but she goes all conspiratorial and whispers, "I write sex stories." You mean romances, maybe?" No, I think I want to write those, too, but so far it's only sex stories. Erotica. Porn."I don't think at all. I'm shocked out of my shoes."No shit?" I say. "You?" I must have some kind of funny look on my face, because she goes into gales of laughter, I mean gales, just like they say in those nineteen-thirties English novels.Then she's still laughing and big tears are coming out of her eyes and rolling down her face and she puts the book on the floor and starts fishing in her pocket, for a handkerchief, I guess, and shakes her head."I'm sorry, Abe, I'm a mess."I stand there like a dolt for a minute, then I. . I'm not a Princess..." Are so..." But..." I have your birth certificate and your lineage..." But..." Certified by the Royal College in Edinburgh, Scotland." said Seph."But..."Seph fumbled in 'The Bag' and presented Missy with a thick envelope."But..." DNA evidence and all." But..." Your parentage has been an embarrassment to your Gypsy ancestors for generations." But..." Your Seventeenth Century progenitor was the proverbial 'stolen by gypsies' baby." But..." Ed and I can't have children ... so we bought." But..." We got one hell-of-a bargain."(Eyebrows proceeding past hairline ... Big Eyes, all around, please ... thank you.)The three men were the gallery at a tennis match ... watching this serve and that return and so on during the entire conversation.Finally, Ed said, "Shall we look at the notes?" They relieved the trunk of the chests.As soon as Ed plied his knives and Seph performed a well placed kick to dislodge the inner lining, the fun began.It wasn't the currency so much,.
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