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Somethingwas missing. The truth was that we were still two people in love but wewere separated by the greatest gulf that could become between a man and awoman, that between life and death. She was only still alive by proxy. Ihad just been only able to become her shadow, a pale template with only afaint resemblance to the original, lacking any real substance. I could notembrace her reality. I cried out to the image before me: "Why is it that when I am with you I am lonely and when I am withoutyou I am lonely? Why hasn't anything changed?" Then I realized that there was more to my love for my wife than just herbody, her sex. Her spirit was the missing component to my happiness. Thatwas what I really fell in love with. Any relationship based purely on thephysical would sooner or later be doomed to failure, but the soul retainsit's luster through time. I may have been able to fool Sarah that hermother was still alive, but I could never fool myself. At that moment Ineeded to feel. .. just forget I said anything..." Without looking at her he grabbed his jacket and quickly walked out the door.Heather sat frozen, her mouth open, her eyes wide, staring straight ahead. She was totally stunned, in shock.* * * * *Jamie caught a bus downtown. He didn't know what to do – he just wandered around aimlessly, feeling miserable. He walked across the campus of the University, then up the hill through the park, trying to think things through. What a mess he'd made of things! He'd ruined his relationship with his sister, he was sure of that – after what he'd said to her there was no way he'd be able to redeem himself in her eyes. This made him so sad, because he really did love her. Why did he have to be this way, why was he such a perv?Night fell, but he felt no desire to return home. Walking along the boulevard he passed a strip-club, and went in for a drink. Maybe if he got turned on watching the girls here it would take his mind off his troubles. He got a whiskey at the bar.
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