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But it was limited and she did get angry at situations like these. However now, after her marriage, she has become more kind and understanding. But she only knew half. She wasn’t aware of what I was dreaming of. Only I was.It made me ashamed even after her words reduced my guilt to some extent. I wanted to leave, to move out of all these thoughts and situations.Me – “I will start to home di.”Di – “Always hurrying to go home. I am allowing now only because of your ‘close’ friend”Me – “I am not going to meet anyone today. I just had a few jobs at home.”After a while, I started to move. She moved closer to me and hugged me. She raised her head and looked at me. She held my face and kissed me on my forehead.Me – “Bye, Di. Love you.”Di – “Love you too dear. Keep visiting and take care of mom and dad.”Me – “I will.”I was on the bike, on my way back home. I was looking at the road, but my mind was full of mixed feelings. It was guilt, love, lust, and uneasiness. I have never felt these many. “Why this?" she said. "Why not just change the locks and serve the papers?”“I’m married to a woman that other guys want, I’d be crazy to dump her unless she didn’t want me.”That got me a kiss and a hug. A very long hug.“What now?” She said eventually, hesitating, pulling away enough to get my face in focus."Can you tell me why? I can sort of guess but it’s best if you can tell me. I know we're both too busy and and all that, but why? We could have worked on it." It was easy," she said. "Too fucking easy." She looked at me, full on total eye contact. "I guess you’ve never been tempted, maybe you're better than me." No." It was just too easy," she said. "Too many opportunities... and I was too stupid. I should have said no and talked to you, but I couldn’t face doing that." And I might have said no..."“That would have been okay but I just couldn’t do that to you. It would make it seem like I didn’t love you.” “So was it because I’m no fun?”"No love, don't think like that. At home, our.
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