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Tonto said “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks “Who owns that big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims “I do, what’s wrong with him this time?” The cowboy looks him in the eye and says “Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin’”.An elderly spinster called the lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come in.“Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?” The attorney agreed and went to the spinster’s home to discuss her estate and the will.The lawyer’s first question was “Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you’d like them to be distributed under your will?” She replied “Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank”.“Tell me” the. At this point, you were also able to appreciate the girls in your school a lot more, and somehow you ended up with the most popular girl in the school at the time.What you didn’t realize at the time though, was that you were going to be the butt of a very longstanding Christmas Dance “tradition” that involved you being tied naked to the underside of arguable the worst plastic reindeer ever manufactured. Until you changed schools, you never got a moments peace before someone at school brought up your nickname as “Rudolph’s Bitch”.And this was all when you were just 14.The last 8 years have somehow managed to get worse and worse. Last year, you almost caught hypothermia when your family left the house, thinking you had decided to spend the holidays with your then-girlfriend of 5 years. What made this particularly bad was that your girlfriend dumped you, via fucking the Mall Santa, Barnaby Willows, a 30 something year old slob. Apparently, your girlfriend and Barnaby have been “seeing.
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