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The cab sped off and Kelly was surprised her Uncle did not help her with the carrier bag containing her belongings. “Might as well show you your room now Kelly; and you can leave your bag there” he told her. She climbed the stairs stopping once to change hands as the bag seemed to become heavier. Then along a long corridor to her room; it seemed so large huge wardrobes with full length mirrors, a writing desk in one corner. “The decor is like you find in a posh hotel; and it has not been decorated with any teenager in mind” she thought.“Now Kelly I have a number of things to do” he boomed in a very commanding voice. “Oh fuck” thought Kelly now dreading this visit even more. “He does not look like a head teacher he is more like a High Court Judge”. He continued “Although you are my niece and I know from whence you came; I know very little about you. I want you to write down as much as you can about yourself. Not about your house and parents; I mean the things you do with your friends,. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and want to tell you it tasted horrible.”The bands are now marked “Fish & Wildlife Service”.“I’ve got this thing for tall, lean men.” said the new coder at the software company. “That Mike in sales is certainly a long tall drink of water.”“I hate to bust your bubble honey” replied the office veteran “but for a long tall drink of water, he’s got an awful short straw.”After his annual physical, the sexually active bachelor was waiting in the doctor’s office for the results. “Well,” said the doctor “I have good news and bad news for you.”“The way I feel, please give me the good news first.” replied the bachelor.“The good news,” announced the doctor “is that your penis has grown an additional four inches since your last exam.”“Great!” the man shouted “What is the bad news?”“It’s malignant.” replied the doctor.I was sitting in McDonalds the other day when a gang of about 20 skinheads chased an Indian guy past me, cornered him and kicked.
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