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If that is 'screwed up'-well, I should be praying to God every night to be that 'screwed up'."My parents looked at me in shock."I'm going now, to my appointment. With Ellie Kirkland." And I got up, and that's just what I did.Ellie was waiting for me when I got to her office, which was in her house. "Thank you for seeing me, Ms. Kirkland," I said."Please, call me Ellie. You go by Missy, right?" I nodded. "Good. Bob Tilling called me and gave me some background on you. I know about the incident last week, and I know The Program has been rough on you. But Bob thinks there's something more. That's why he wanted me to see you. Now, why did you agree to see me?"I took a deep breath and said, "A lot of reasons. I'm confused and scared. I don't know who I am. I know who I was. Over the past week I realized I've come to hate that person. I don't want to be who I was anymore. But I don't know who I am now." Who were you?" she asked."The school bitch." Why?" Now that is a very complicated. I said nothing. There was no doubt in my mind at all now. Colinliked, needed, or wanted to dress as a girl. I had read a few things,seen some boys and men like Colin on television, and knew that he wasn'tgoing to stop, even if I told him too. That only left me with one realchoice. I could help him, or I could abandon him and let him conquerthis on his own. When our eyes met, he froze in place, unable to speakto me, yet I knew, just by looking at him that with just a little bit ofeffort he would be gorgeous. I wasn't that fond of having a son thatwanted to dress as a girl, but I have one, and all I could do was livewith it.Colin stood still as I walked into the room, then sat on the bed. Heturned to face me, the fear etched on his face clear, the uncertainty ofwhat I might do weighing him down. I thought he might cry right then, soI went to the vanity and asked him to sit down. His hair is straight,with not one curl in it anywhere. I took the ponytail out and let hishair hang down,.
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