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I could barely bend over to get the paper with the hugehard-on raging in my shorts. But I managed and then just as quicklydashed back into the house. A rush of satisfaction coursed through myveins.The coffee had brewed sufficiently for me to grab a cup. I moved intothe living room, sat on the floor, and spread the paper out before me. Iscanned the pages before one of the articles grabbed my attention. Somuch so that I didn't even notice Jess walk into the room. She snickeredas she said, "Well, somebody was daring enough to go outside lookingpretty dainty." I smiled back and explained that an impulse justovercame me. Jessica commented that she'd not witnessed anyimpulsiveness in me in the time we'd known each other. I just gave herthe, "you don't know EVERYTHING about me" look and asked her if shewanted coffee. She said she'd get it herself but that I should join herin the kitchen to make breakfast.Breakfast was even more surreal than dinner the night before had been.If you'd listened. ‘Were you eating celery in bed, Uncle Jim?’ ‘Well, Pat, you know that’s where I eat my celery.’ ‘Did you dip your celery in salt, Uncle Jim?’ ‘I used so much salt that I had to fill my belly button twice.’ Gladys was laughing so loud, she made Mr. and Mrs. French’s dog start barking. When Jackie explained to Betty Lou how Jimmy once told me that God made belly buttons so you could eat celery in bed, Betty Lou started laughing, too. We laughed until every dog in the neighborhood started barking and we had to slap Betty Lou on her back because she laughed until she started coughing. * * * * * * * * * * ‘That was wonderful, Jack,’ Tom said. ‘No one makes a better rib dinner than Jack Messick,’ agreed Louie. ‘Hold it right there!’ Gladys said. ‘You didn’t enjoy your dinner?’ my dad asked her. ‘Of course I did. It was wonderful, but I’m sick and tired of hearing everyone compliment Jack Messick for standing in front of a barbecue grill for thirty minutes!’ ‘I’ll second that!’ said Betty.
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