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.er..unfortunate," I replied, lighting a Virginia Slim and crossing my nyloned legs as I leaned back with an air of interested composure. "What seems to be the problem?" It's my Great Dane, Hamlet. He's been...DOGNAPPED!" the man cried, falling into the well-stuffed armchair I had indicated with a wave of my dainty (yet aristocratic) hand."You have a Great Dane named HAMLET?" Yes, my wife named him that when he was but a puppy," the man replied. "Because he was always so melancholy, you know." Go on," I grated."Well," the man said. "It happened last night. I was visiting an old friend of mine who owns a Border Collie named Sir Robin of Locksley and he suggested a friendly wager as to which of our fabulously furry four-legged friends was FASTEST."I nodded to indicate my understanding."M'yes, well, he happens to own a dog-racing track...er...purely for his own amusement, you know...and so it was decided that we'd have a little race. Well, to make a long story short...." Too late," I. ‘I brought some peanut butter.’ ‘Great,’ I answered, closing the door, before reality came crashing in again, and my forehead creased in confusion. ‘Peanut butter?’ ‘I thought we could have dinner together, we haven’t done that in a while, hmm? And you said you weren’t doing anything tonight, so…’ he spread his arms in a exaggerated way. ‘Here I am!’ I had to laugh, the whole situation was so typically Henry I couldn’t help it. No-one else could come over unannounced, armed with merely a pot of peanut butter which looked like it had been happily dug into already, and act like everything was normal. ‘Great,’ I smiled, eyeing the peanut butter. ‘You want to get some toast going?’ ‘We aren’t going to try something new?’ Henry mock pouted. Toast and peanut butter was a kind of tradition with us, every time he came over for dinner we never had anything remotely substantial, preferring to stick with peanut butter and toast. ‘Feel free to cook up anything you want, I’m going to have a.
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