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Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'--Jack, 7 yearsThis is also compliements of chuckLittle Johnny is always a real "piece of work"The Polite Way to PeeDuring one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her you have to go to the bathroom?'Michael said: 'Excuse me, I need to pee.'The teacher responded: 'That would be quite impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?' Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.''That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'Johnny said: 'I would say "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a. "Mom? Mom?" I called out. "It's me." She turned towards me, a look ofnonrecognition on her face for a moment or two, and then her face litup with the biggest smile I had ever seen her with."It's you!" she cried. "You came! Oh, my dear, dear Paula - it's beenso long!" Far too long, Mom, far too long," I answered, walking across to her,and giving her a kiss on the cheek.My lipstick left a small red spot behind - I'd have to remember towipe that up. "You look so beautiful, Paula," Mom said."Why, thank you, Mom. You look very pretty today, yourself." I snuck apeek into the mirror on the wall, and had to admit, there was nothingwrong with Mom's eyesight. My red blazer and white blouse were perfectcompliments to my knee length black skirt, and the shapeliness of mynylon clad legs was enhanced by the three inch heels on my blackleather pumps."I have a favor to ask," said Mom. "It's such a beautiful day outthere, and I haven't been outside in so long. Would you mind taking meout for a bit of.
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