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"But I'm not quite sure where to start. I mean, how much do you already know?" Well, my parents are Evangelical Christians and I've barely even heard of sex." Then why are you here?" Because I want to learn," she insisted. "I refuse to be ignorant." Alright," I agreed, grasping at straws as to how to 'teach' sex. "Well, the first thing I usually think about before sex even enters my mind is: are you interested?" Of course I'm interested." But how am I supposed to know that you're interested?" Because I just told you!" Duh, but I shouldn't have to ask. I should just know."At her skeptical look I continued, "What if I wasn't in the mood?" You're not in the mood?" she teased, squeezing my erection."Obviously I'm aroused, but what if I just wanted to cuddle for a while?" You just want to cuddle?" she leered."Marian, I'm trying to be serious. How could I tell you that I only wanted to cuddle with just body language?" Um, maybe you'd move my hand away?" That would be a pretty obvious. Well, eventually, they decided to move to a retirement home, and their side became vacant.Pretty soon a really cute young couple moved in, and on the very first night, I nearly had a heart attack. I could not only hear them making love, but could also hear almost every word spoken. I admit that, to make matters worse, I decided to use my stethoscope as well, and that meant I felt as if I was in the room with them.Now why, you might ask, did this revelation about the lack of soundproofing bother me?Well, being single and young, I was masturbating almost every day, mostly at night, and am a very vocal person, when doing so, having been known to almost scream at the point of orgasm. This meant that my previous neighbors must have not only heard me. but had kept it from me by being extra quiet all the time. No wonder they were always smiling at me when we met. They were probably laughing themselves silly as well.Now the tables were turned, and I made sure to be as quiet as a church.
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